Backpacker’s Horror Story – The Lady in the Red Dress
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When people ask me, what were your thoughts on Bangkok? I usually reply with ‘well, it’s one hell of a city. Whether you’re looking for anything from some of the finest dining in Asia to the dirtiest, greasiest pong shows you’ll see in your life, keep an open mind cause anything can happen in Bangkok.’
This may be true and when I say ‘you’ll never forget your first time,’ no, I’m not referring to sex, However, that’s kind of what Bangkok is like. You’ll never forget the first time you got fucked by Bangkok!
The first time I found myself in situations like this, it was my 3rd day ever in Asia and I was still trying to figure out how to survive in such a foreign environment. The night before my story begins:
I met a group of travellers at the guest house. We were from all over the world and we all got along really well. It was a great start to my trip, the next day we spent checking out the city and lounging around the guest house. Eventually, in the midafternoon we cracked open a few Changs and let the night begin. After grabbing dinner and loading up on a few more Changs, we had the brilliant idea take our evening to the next level.
After about a 20-minute cab ride, we arrive at our destination. Stepping out of the taxi onto the street has most commonly known amongst backpackers as Kho San Road. Intrigued by the scene unfolding in front of me, I took my rookie ass and followed my mates into the sea of rowdy backpackers drunk and frolicking in the streets. I hadn’t seen so much madness since the damn riot that took place in my hometown of Vancouver in 2010. It was amazing!
After a number of buckets and balloons, my mates and I were well into having one hell of a night; and that’s when things decided to go sideways.
My stomach turned and I was gonna spew. After telling my mates to wait for me under the extremely large D&D neon sign, I ran down in a dirty alley and spewed the buckets I had just swallowed all over the side of a garbage can. Walking out of the alley still slightly dazed and confused but feeling much better, that giant glowing D&D sign was nowhere in sight. After about 30 minutes of searching, I realized this Kho San rookie didn’t stand a chance and that I was lost in Bangkok.
About to give up, this gorgeous Thai woman wearing high heels and a red dress spotted me and came running over.
“You’re looking for your friends!” she exclaimed.
“How’d you know?” I replied.
Not speaking the finest English, she explained she was just with them and they were headed for the club. Pumped to know where my friends were, yet questioning the woman’s intentions, I followed her to the club.
When we arrived, my friends were nowhere to be found. After spending time partying and getting to know this gorgeous Thai woman a bit better, even though something felt a little off and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Eventually, I thought, to hell with it, I’m in Bangkok, besides, this Thai woman was so frigging hot, I decided to stick around for a while.
We finished our last drinks, we hit the dance floor one last time before we agreed to head out. Bumping and grinding on the dance floor and having the time of my life, she must have gotten somewhat aroused.
By somewhat aroused, I mean I realised she had a frigging boner nearly jumping out of her dress. I was startled as hell and slightly heartbroken, the situation was too much for me to handle. I tried letting her down softly but she wasn’t having it.
“You take me home!” she yelled.
“I fuck you! For free!“
I couldn’t comprehend bringing home a girl who was possibly packing more heat than me under that tiny red dress of hers. Right at that moment, I noticed my mates walk in the club. That was my ticket out of here I thought.
Furious at my attempt to escape and still standing in front of me with a rock solid boner, I shut her down one last time and bolted to my mates. Trying to describe to them the disperse I was in. Right then, I felt a strong hand slap my ass. Knowing very well who would be standing behind me, I turned around slowly. With rage in her eyes and her fist wound up ready to strike. Before you could say ladyboy, she unleashed her fist driving it into the side of my face. The lights went out and down I went like a sack of potatoes.
The next thing I remember was sitting out front of the club with my mates and a crowd of people laughing at me. I knew there was no point asking what had just happened because I knew very well… I gotten knocked out cold by a lady boy.
I’ve been to Bangkok 4 times since then, and I’m sure I’ll find myself there again, however, every time I find myself on Kho San Road, I always find myself looking over my shoulder in fear of the woman in the red dress.
— Braden, Bangkok, Thailand 2016
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